Let me Hide

I often find the real world confusing. Maintaining relationships and normal people scare the twiddles out of me. So often, in my head I run away! Because I have this weird notion that I rather not be around people if I can possibly hurt them. Which I know I will, if I open my mouth. But of course, no one really GETS this behaviour.... so they keep giving me the idea that I can interact with these nice but sane people. It's not that I don't want to.... It's usually just that I don't want to hurt... or be hurt.
And I usually go...."I'm in a place I wanted to be… but yet am not left at peace!!"

I almost planned and plotted

To make things the way they are;

I unleashed this tide that's carried me -

And never fought the current so far.

I brushed away the branches

That sought to snatch me up;

And rolled past the rocks

That tried to make me stop.

And I purposefully shut my eyes

Till shores all melted away,

And glided onwards to a sea of oblivion;

This is where I want to stay!

And now when I am here,

In this impossible world of the lost;

Why are there these little eddies

That threaten to take me back???