Let me Hide

I often find the real world confusing. Maintaining relationships and normal people scare the twiddles out of me. So often, in my head I run away! Because I have this weird notion that I rather not be around people if I can possibly hurt them. Which I know I will, if I open my mouth. But of course, no one really GETS this behaviour.... so they keep giving me the idea that I can interact with these nice but sane people. It's not that I don't want to.... It's usually just that I don't want to hurt... or be hurt.
And I usually go...."I'm in a place I wanted to be… but yet am not left at peace!!"

I almost planned and plotted

To make things the way they are;

I unleashed this tide that's carried me -

And never fought the current so far.

I brushed away the branches

That sought to snatch me up;

And rolled past the rocks

That tried to make me stop.

And I purposefully shut my eyes

Till shores all melted away,

And glided onwards to a sea of oblivion;

This is where I want to stay!

And now when I am here,

In this impossible world of the lost;

Why are there these little eddies

That threaten to take me back???

Goodbye

Some relationships thrive, others die. And some of these deaths leave behind ghosts and echoes that recall the past to us. And just as I have these ghosts dogging my footsteps, I suppose I could be a ghost to another. If I am, This is what I'd like to say..... 
Esp. to a dear niece lost to life; on turning 18...


Goodbye old friend,
I hope you think of me no more.
And I hope that time will heal your pain,
And sooth what now feels sore.


Goodbye sweet times;
I will look back no more,
With either guilt or fondness.
For it seems your wounds
are all healed up,
And you have found your Bliss.

... And like a ghost
Set a-free
By a mind's moving on;
I shall pass
From your memory,
And melt into the dawn.