baby steps

Depression is not just a disorder; it is the sum total (and more) of all the fears and insecurities one has ever had. Depression is what happens when you hold out on yourself for too long, or push yourself to unreachable goals and pin your happiness on them. When you strive for perfection instead of excellence. And once you are there, it's like being in a shell, a cage of your own making; one impossible to break. Recovery is a reality, but there's no 'bouncing back' from being depressed; it takes a thousand baby steps.


I opened a door today,
And let in a little light.
I stepped into my backyard,
And drank in the night.
I dared to look up today,
At the daunting moonbeams bright.
I faced the stars and the trees;
Though they laughed at my plight.

My dungeon dark called to me
And spoke of sightless oblivion.
Free-floating and senseless existence,
Where in a moment passes an eon.

But I stood my ground on coarse grass
And forced my senses to experience -
Sound and touch and sight and thought,
All so new, they almost pain.
But though the day I'm far from facing;
Today I befriend the night again.