Goodbye

Some relationships thrive, others die. And some of these deaths leave behind ghosts and echoes that recall the past to us. And just as I have these ghosts dogging my footsteps, I suppose I could be a ghost to another. If I am, This is what I'd like to say..... 
Esp. to a dear niece lost to life; on turning 18...


Goodbye old friend,
I hope you think of me no more.
And I hope that time will heal your pain,
And sooth what now feels sore.


Goodbye sweet times;
I will look back no more,
With either guilt or fondness.
For it seems your wounds
are all healed up,
And you have found your Bliss.

... And like a ghost
Set a-free
By a mind's moving on;
I shall pass
From your memory,
And melt into the dawn.

Fitting My Own Skin

I love being in my 30's. They feel right. More than most years have till now. They also feel like a good point to restart growing. :)

School years were lovely,
I read and learnt and grew.
Each week brought me something
Fascinating, unknown and new.

But school years were also lonely;
The stuff I loved, few friends did.
And often I was more at ease
Talking with a parent than with a kid!
...
...

I got to college and hoped to find
Passion, love, and maybe wisdom;
I did I did, I cannot lie!
I found them all, and then some!

I still felt like I stuck out a bit,
Though my friends were now more like me.
And while the world made sense - so much more,
There were days that were... lonely.
...
...

Early adulthood was a blast,
Though the stress was more than I cared for!
I found my calling and made my mistakes;
Those years left me both enriched and sore.

I was more at ease now,
With the world and with me.
But sometimes still, when I looked at my peers
I would feel all at sea!
...
...

Thirties now, they feel so good
I am at ease, I burn so bright!
I finally seem to fit my own mind;
And so today I feel SO right!

:)

The Cause of Idiotic Actions

This one might make just a tad more sense to those who have either read The Hobbit and LOTR, or have seen the movies. My fascination with Smeagol aka Gollum once made friends with my ability to create twisted metaphorical imagery. This, was the result. 
Non - Geek Psychologists: Gollum is this regressed, primal creature; very ID controlled. He has an alter ego (Smeagol)that is particularly Super-ego controlled; but that's a whole different story. 
Non-Geek, Non - Psychologists: Imagine a creature that is only concerned with satisfying it's immediate desires; unconcerned with consequences for self or others. 



Selfish little impulses
Like so many giggling gollums;
Creeping, biting,
Reminding, taunting -
Of promises broken,
Of feelings wounded,
Of words unheard,
Of hands let go....!

Living in the dark depths
Of my unconscious mind,
Surfacing, shreaking;
Leaving havoc behind.
In a split second's rising
They shatter notions.
They counteract choices,
And destroy decisions.

Before I can see them,
They're long gone;
Leaving me paddling
In a hell-like storm.
And as I try and make sense
Of the wreckage they cause,
I can but wish
For my world as it was!

In Celebration of Togetherness

To all those friends in relationships - established, blooming and yet to be; 
This is a wish for you; from me! 


May you be more than just happy,
May you find excitement; and also joy!
May each moment you reach for
Be beautiful beyond compare;
May your felicity never be coy!

May you feel both, blessed and content,
For ever more from now;
May all your dreams come true
Through adventures filled with love!

An Emotional Winter

Wrote this over two years ago.... found it today. Ironic much, that half of the imagery in these lines represents a desirable state in the blistering heat of Summer. Be assured, it makes more sense in the winter. :)
Winter days in depression.... 

The sunbeams pass me by;
The wind skips around me.
The rain leaves me dry,
But the fog always surrounds me!

The colors fade from flowers;
And bird song turns melancholy.
The trees cast menacing shadows;
Shadows that imprison me!

Laughter tires me out,
And tears exhaust me so!
Actions and words, both need strength;
A strength I do not know.

Sometimes - for a minute - the fogs part
And I think I shall be set free.
But just when escape seems within my grasp,
My prison re-forms around me.

.... And here I know I must add
Some words of faith, a whisper of hope;
That I should mention that shining beacon
that guides me back to joyful home........

But if truth be told there is naught
But a glimmering sporadic starlight;
That makes me want to keep on trying -
But never pierces the exhausting night.

Political rock

As exams roll back into my life, i must share the scribblings from between papers during an earlier one. The frustration was two pronged (politics and exams), but the thoughts are focused.
Sadly, there are far too many politicians who could really rock this song.....

Politics is a game,
Where you assign blame
To the one who is your biggest threat.
Politics is a race,
To escape disgrace,
And your best friend is someone you never met!

And so...
We put on a show,
We show that we know;
We act like we mean it,
We do!
We smile and shake hands,
We call their names from the stands:
'Cos we want to win it,
We do!

We're here for the cash and we're here for the perks;
We're here for the power and the free lunch!
We don't really care if you call us all jerks,
'Cos while we do like the motherland, we love ourselves too much!

Nearly lost

People change and relationships alter. Sometimes they thrive, and sometimes falter.
to all those that faltered and fell by the side.......
(It is NOT funny the variety of relationships that fueled these lines!!)

We are separated by a wall, thin as paper;
Yet a universe stands between our souls.
Although we share half our worlds,
An ocean between us rolls.

I reach out sometimes
Rummaging through memory's chest of drawers;
And find where I least expect,
A half forgotten thought of yours.

As I slowly put it away,
Sometimes with a smile, sometimes a sigh;
I wonder if ever you find,
Some such bauble to remember me by.

A thousand leaps mayn't cover this distance;
Or a single step may do.
The question really seems to be -
Do we want to know each other anew?

The memories we made an age ago;
They make us who we are.
But they only glisten like perfect dewdrops,
Because they are so far.

So though you drifted away from me,
And I grew apart from you;
I hope it is with naught but peace
That we both bid these thoughts adieu.